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Remarriage: Warning signs of Future 498a 
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Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2012 3:40 am
Posts: 6
This is relevant to those who are looking at settling down again and is based on what I have experienced during my partner search for remarriage. If you are speaking to divorcees it is unlikely that they will ever mention about the fact that they had filed a 498a or other criminal cases earlier. You might end up wasting a couple of months of effort till you finally get to see the papers and discover this or worse find out after you get married. I have spent a long time in my search (I gained a lot of gray hair during my search and nothing else) and have come across a few instances where the partner seems likely to be a past/potential 498a girl. Sometimes, I discovered that she already has filed a 498a only while checking the papers (they will probably not tell you beforehand). Now, in some cases the potential partner might have actually faced a dire or perhaps life threatening situation. As we can never really know what actually transpired, irrespective of the explanation offered it is best to stay away from them for the sake of the safety of yourselves and your loved ones. One common trend that I have observed in these 498a girls that it is not just the person who needs to be observed for deviant behaviour, to be on the safer side it is the entire family that you will need to check out. So, what I have learnt the hard way is to start interacting with the parents at an early stage and not leave this for a much later point in time. With this approach, one can try to identify a 498a family rather than a 498a girl.

There is a very interesting article provided in this very website: http://www.498a.org/contents/general/Warning%20Signs%20of%20Future%20498a.pdf
While the above article is mostly relevant to signs to be observed post marriage, what is described below are points that can
be kept in mind while looking for a partner. If a good number of these tendencies match, it should immediately raise an
alarm that something may be amiss. So here we go. Remember the points below are characteristics of the family (viz. girl,
siblings and parents), as analysis of the girl itself might not be sufficient. These points are only indicative and one has to use one's own judgement.

Personality / mood / behavioural characteristics -
1. Are sometimes impulsive, irritable, impatient or show signs of being short-tempered or hot-headed
2. Have mood-swings and sometimes appear agitated, express incoherent thoughts at times. Get both excited and angry a bit
too easily.
3. Have difficulty in clearly expressing feelings and emotions, you may feel there is a lack of heart-felt emotions
4. Impatient and want to close things quickly (including marriage)
5. Find it relatively easy to talk about death, pain, cruelty to animals etc, will show less respect to others/elders
6. Display immature behaviour at times - especially when it concerns other people
7. Will keep account of even small things that you or other people may have said or behaved that they did not like
(vindictiveness), less tolerance towards others
8. Display over confidence, assertiveness, boldness, courage and at times rigidity, tendency to try to take control of the
situation

Ethical deviations -
1. Follow convenience based ethics and might laugh about how they fooled someone, their boss in office, someone they
dislike etc.
2. Cannot differentiate clearly between what is right and what is wrong
3. Might give different versions of the same story at different points in time. Will contradict themselves and each other.
4. Might find them blaming someone for things that didn't go there way, will show little regret or remorse. At another
point in time they may contradict themselves and say that they don't blame anyone or hold grudges.
5. Their lifestyle/house is disproportionate to their means of income.

Conversations -
1. Are not very inquisitive about your past and do not want to discuss it
2. Make unneccessary statements related to the law like - their papers can be checked in court, by a lawyer, we don't know
much about the law and we did what the lawyer said, you can get a pre-nuptual agreement (not valid in India) / affidavit
made etc.
4. Undue questions and over eagerness to know salary and property etc.
5. They may drop a hint of subtle satisfaction that their previous son in law and perhaps his family are now suffering

Other points of concern -
1. Girl / siblings have no / very few friends
2. Sibling is also divorced (get hold of siblings papers too!)
3. Any property dispute with relatives etc. is a big red flag. They are seasoned players in the law.

Generally we tend to become emotional and blinded after speaking to potential partners for a while. However, the thumb rule is that when in doubt do not proceed. In such cases don't waste your time and move on.

All the best!!


Sat Jun 13, 2015 11:36 am
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Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2014 1:47 pm
Posts: 120
Thoughtful post New-Earth,

Another important point you may agree....

1) Many times such a 498a family will have close acquaintance/relative in police, lawyer, political family, influential government officer/businessman. They know the law(and loopholes) closely enough. A few bad ones abuse the law and spoil the name of all other good ones also.


Sun Jun 14, 2015 7:33 am
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Joined: Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:14 am
Posts: 15
I agree with the Vibhas, in my case aunt of 498a wife is criminal and people around them disclosed this fact after marriage.
She is working in court and know all benefits that girl can get and where to bribe police and judges.

We should also see, the MIL controlling her husband or aunts controlling her husbands. These women always fill poison into 498a wives. Even if girl don't want to spoil husband life, they induce such illness and make it happen.

_________________
498a_victim_bangalore


Mon Aug 10, 2015 4:52 am
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