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498a Discussion Forum - View topic - Met my son after 15 year of child custody fight !!
It is currently Sat Jun 19, 2021 9:58 am



Reply to topic  [ 12 posts ] 
Met my son after 15 year of child custody fight !! 
Author Message

Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:03 am
Posts: 3053
Hi All,
This if for all those who long to meet their seprated Children posted by Peri in another thread which I want to highlight for help of many others.Peri whom you congratulated for meeting his son can answer many questions for which you can post your querry.
Reproduced below:=
Re: FIGHT AGAINST JUDGE, POLICE & POLITICIANS
Here is another success story.

A]s some of you know, I have been fighting for child custody for last 15 years. My son is now 17 1/2 years old. About 2 weeks ago I had another appointment at the Chandigarh High Court. After almost 10 years of fighting, I finally had a judge who really understood the situation. My wife began with the same drama that my son does not want to see me. My son, naturally under pressure from my wife, also said in court that he does not want to see me. The Judge first politely asked him why he does not want to see me for which he had no answer. Then, he told him strictly that he has to see me and that too alone. To cut the long story short, I could meet my child in private and talk to him heart to heart.

What I want to say is that change is possible. New Judges are coming with broader outlook. People are understanding that these dowry cases are 99% bull-shit. We have to be strong and continue the fight and expose this cruelty towards us and our children and families. We have to expose these black widows.

Peri


Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:13 am
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Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 7:39 pm
Posts: 45
Thanks Poppinder,
Yes, do not give up. For the sake of your children, do not give up.
This is what I wrote as Poppinder has reproduced above.

As some of you know, I have been fighting for child custody for last 15 years. My son is now 17 1/2 years old. About 2 weeks ago I had another appointment at the Chandigarh High Court. After almost 10 years of fighting, I finally had a judge who really understood the situation. My wife began with the same drama that my son does not want to see me. My son, naturally under pressure from my wife, also said in court that he does not want to see me. The Judge first politely asked him why he does not want to see me for which he had no answer. Then, he told him strictly that he has to see me and that too alone. To cut the long story short, I could meet my child in private and talk to him heart to heart.

What I want to say is that change is possible. New Judges are coming with broader outlook. People are understanding that these dowry cases are 99% bull-shit. We have to be strong and continue the fight and expose this cruelty towards us and our children and families. We have to expose these black widows.

Peri


Sun Sep 21, 2008 5:36 pm
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Joined: Tue Mar 11, 2008 6:39 am
Posts: 216
Hi Peri,

Can you please let us know how the case was proceeding for last 10years? I am trying to figure out why it took 10years. What were the challenges you faced? Was it just the inefficiency of the court, in giving the dates for hearing, that made it so long? How many times did you have to go to India for the hearings? What are the lessons learned? If you were to go back in time and do it all over again how would you do it differently? Any advice for the ones like me who are just starting?


Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:54 pm
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Joined: Fri May 02, 2008 12:03 pm
Posts: 28
Peri,

Congrats!!

Good Show... Keep fighting & only warriors win.

Those who dont fight loose the battle before it begins.

Regards, HS


Tue Sep 23, 2008 8:02 am
Profile YIM

Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2007 7:39 pm
Posts: 45
Gentle-P,

The courts in India suck!

Even in this age of computers, there are so many middle people who are pushing files, and they can be bribed easily. So your file will not show up on the said date.

Then things are scribbled in files, so even the orders given by judges can be interpreted falsily or purposely miswritten by the reader if he is bribed.

Lawyers can just ask for date after date because they suddenly are too tired that day or even the Judges just do not show up one morning and your next date will be given by the reader, and if he is bribed it will be in 6 months.

Judges change every 3 months and the new Judge first has to understand the case which normally takes a few dates.

Yes, all the above and much more happened in my case. Therefore, it is taking so long.

Your second question what I would do different? Answer is I donĀ“t know; and my advise to you will be if you really want to win the case you will have to give up your job, life etc and start living in the court. No, that was a bad joke. I think try to continue your life. You have to keep your sanity. There are lot of good girls out there. Make new friends. Don't try to fight this battle alone, which I was doing initially.

Good luck,

Peri


Tue Sep 23, 2008 5:06 pm
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Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:44 pm
Posts: 5419
Location: Delhi (India)
Hi Peri and others!

Peri has given few pearls of wisdom to all of us:

A> Try not to loose sanity.
B> Let the life continue.
C> Don't try to fight it alone.

What I always tell people, that this 498a/ PWDVA is not the end of your life. Consider it as a bad accident which has happened to you. What would you do, if an accident happens to you. You would still get up and continue your life. Right!! So why these things be any diffirent.

When I was in college, I had this poem "IF" pasted on my almirah. To be read again and again. I would quote a passage from it, once again:
http://www.everypoet.com/archive/poetry ... ing_if.htm

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

And besides, you can have Frank Sinatra singing for you:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/pick-yoursel ... natra.html

Nothing is impossible, I have found,
For when my chin is on the ground,
I pick myself up, dust myself off
And start all over again.

Cheers!

Shonee Kapoor


Fri Sep 26, 2008 5:20 am
Profile YIM

Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:03 am
Posts: 3053
Great Quotes ! This is a real way to fight harder and get results as well after all you can only put in your best honestly;Good luck Shonee


Fri Sep 26, 2008 5:26 am
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Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 2:21 pm
Posts: 37
Congragulations Poppinder. But why it took 15 years?
Kannan


Sun Jan 11, 2009 12:37 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2008 7:41 am
Posts: 301
Hi Shonee,
You really stole my words here by quoting the 'If' by Rudyard kipling, even I too have one of it also in the almirah, looks like there;s more than one thing in common to the guys in this forum, though the 'IF' is really a lesson about how to live life, but one has to be really tough to follow each advice in that and just in case if you fancied yourself if you are up to the mark to the the MAN in IF then there you are ! life is getting you there, really !! and that seems to be my undoing as well. Its been a roller coaster ride of life for me ever since the first time I came across the IF -- about 5 years before -- and life has been like a JUMANJI ever since, its one freak of a game

Here I give my own favorite of the IF and it says "If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds of distance RUN then yours is the earth and everything that's in it"

I just want to make a personal opinion here ' where as th IF by Rudyard kipling is a daily prayer in the schools of the Great Britain, we do not have similar thing like that in our own schools to let children understand how to face the real travails of life'. Agreed that we have probably similar poems or better ones in sanskrit but the very fact that very few people understand Sanskrit makes all those good slokas in Sanskrit in our country only for the ROTE learning purpose and really does not develop an individual

Recently as I am facing these charges of 498A, the guys at my house -- uncles, aunties and parents-- would tell me I must do Gayatri Mantra about 108 times everyday which would clean me of all the sins -- Dont know which sins are they talking about -- and I would gather a lot of strength from reciting the same for so many times and the more number of times I do it the better, even somebody suggested I do it for some 3000 times Now I see that the real problem for me is not just to face the charges but to also face what is coming to me from my own house, this being more difficult to handle.

And I feel very sad for the state of affairs in most people's lives in our country. No ones really enjoying his/her freedom and everyone's interfering with freedom of others. I guess we still have a long way to go before we get the freedom from the Hypocritical society that we've built for ourselves.

So it remains to be seen if I can be be the MAN as in IF.

Thanks
Aragon


Sun Jan 11, 2009 12:49 pm
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Joined: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:03 am
Posts: 3053
Aragon,
While I do understand what you are going through.
Your family members they are feeling helpless and when they ask you to recite Gyatri mantra it is as they are helping you since nothing else comes to their thought.
Your family thinks good of you please do not ignore them


Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:10 am
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Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2008 4:00 am
Posts: 568
Aragon,

When everything goes against you and your back is to the wall, one can only pray and hope that GOD is behind you......

Do not ignore the advice given to you by your folks, remember there will be setbacks and the time will be darkest before the sunshine and good lucks rains down on you. Belief in GOD actually helps you out in these times.

Take this as a test of your character. It is only in fire you will find if your character will be steel or melt away.

Buck up and take the b!tch head on.

Believe me your time will come. Just be patient.

_________________
Read the Surivival Kit - http://ipc498a.wordpress.com/2007/07/01 ... vival-kit/


Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:28 am
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Joined: Tue Mar 18, 2008 1:44 pm
Posts: 5419
Location: Delhi (India)
Hey Aragon,

As you have rightly said, "IF" is more of a philosophy than a poem. And all these poem-prayers, mantras, shalokas, though may not help us in Supernatural ways, what they can definately do is to make us more resolute in our pursuit.

"IF" has been one of my favorite poems and I have couple of favorite Urdu couplets too to keep me going.

"UNHE RASHQ MERE NASEEB PAR, KABHI HOGA MUJHKO YAKEEN HAI,
JINHE AAJ TAK MERI AANKH MEIN, KUCH AANSUON KI TALAASH HAI."

(I am sure that those people would be jealous of my fortune,
those who are trying to find some tears in my eyes.)

And then what Iqbal said.

"KHUDI KO KAR BULUND ITNA, KI HAR TAQDEER SE PAHLE,
KHUDA BANDE SE KHUD POOCHE, BATA TERI RAJA KYA HAI."

(Make your pursuits be so passionate, that before every turn of fate,
The God Humself is forced to ask you, what do you want?)

Carry on the fight buddy. And do fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds of distance run.

Regards,

Shonee Kapoor


Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:31 am
Profile YIM
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